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/ / What is Love? (Understanding True Love, Infatuation, Lust and Passion) - 2

What is Love? (Understanding True Love, Infatuation, Lust and Passion) - 2


Love is one of the strongest forces controlling the race of humankind. We remember any influential person that walked on this planet because of the seed (love) he sowed. With the seed of love, we change the heart of humankind.

This world would have been in disaster if God did not create women. God created women to express love and care for the world. Men, on the other hand, loves to dominate because of their egos.

Without the seed of love, we can cannot walk and live in peace. We act like children when we act in love because it takes humility and compassion to express love. It is challenging to express love towards someone if nobody showed you love in your infancy.

People who find it easy to express love received love from infancy, so they don’t struggle in a social gathering. When a child continuously receives love from his parents and environment, he would not work to express it when he meets other children.

When a child constantly receives rejection and hatred from his parent and environment, it builds a seed of inferiority complex and shyness in his life. This is one reason parents must make it a habit to express love towards their children.

On the other hand, when the child receives too much love from his parents and neighbors, his brains fail to grow into maturity. Because the child received too much love, care and protection, it makes the child irresponsible.

Parents and  guardians must learn to express love and discipline towards their children because it builds their temperament and personality. Monitor any child that hates work and responsibility; such a child did not receive enough discipline in the house, school and environment.

On the other side when the child receives too much discipline with no seed of love, it hardens his heart. Most often, the child becomes a psychopath. That is, the child becomes anti-social and dangerous.

Some people become criminals and serial murderers in society because of the abuse they receive in their childhood. Most often, people who lack the seed of love have little or no positive emotion.

These people don’t know how to express love because people have killed the seed of love, compassion, passion, and empathy in their hearts. Naturally, some people are introverts (not sociable), while others are extroverts (outspoken and friendly).

When one receives love and proper care from parents and loved ones, it shapes and builds his personality. We cannot change the temperament of people. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to change men.

It doesn’t matter how intelligent and wise you are; you cannot change the temperament of others. Accept people as they are and try to understand them. When you learn to understand people and begin to flow with them, they easily comply with you, and one of the ways to connect with people is to apply the seed of love.

Love is a seed you sow into the heart of men. People will never forget you when you express love towards them. Learn to appreciate and honor people because humankind desires recognition.

Every normal human wants to be understood. Nobody will listen to you if you disrespect them. It takes the power of love to change the heart of humankind. Love is what you do, not what you say.

Until we see compassion, joy, peace, mercy, faith, humility, favor and grace in your words, actions and character, you are not expressing love. We don’t talk love; we express it for men to see it.

Most often, people think they are expressing love, not knowing they are expressing lust. In this article, I will use the lesson of Amnon and Tamar to help you understand true love and lust.

Expressing a desire for someone doesn’t mean it is love. By the time I finish writing this article, you will know whether love or lust is controlling you. Don’t mistake lust for love because it ends in disaster.

When I see males and females, especially the youthful ones expressing their hearts towards one another, I sense passion, infatuation and lust. These people think they are expressing love, not knowing lust is controlling them.

As I wrote, you would know the difference between love, lust, infatuation, and passion when I finish writing this article.


Lessons from Amnon and Tamar

And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.

2 Samuel 13:1-2 KJV

King David’s eldest son (Amnon) had a half-sister called Tamar. Amnon’s mother differed from Tamar’s mother. This woman was a virgin. The Holy Scriptures declare that Tamar was Absalom (David’s third son) real sister.

Tamar was beautiful. Because of Tamar’s virginity and beauty, Amnon became distressed to the point that he became sick. Day and night, Amnon thought of Tamar how he would get her into his bed.

Amnon thought he had some love for Tamar, not knowing it was the seed of lust lurking in his heart. Child of God, the fact that you desire a particular person does not mean it is love. In the case of Amnon, he became sick because of Tamar’s beauty and virginity.

Amnon couldn’t sleep because of Tamar. Amnon thought of how he could get her sister into bed and have sexual intercourse with her. One thing you must know about true love is that it does not rest on physical beauty.

Lust always looks at the physical appearance, whiles love looks at the inner beauty. Love overrules money, beauty, and fame but lust searches for these things. Most often, when opposite genders meet and attract each other for the first time, they think they are in love.

Some people call it love at first sight. Child of God, can I present to you that your desire for the person you are dying for is not genuine love. It is called infatuation. Love does not care about money, mansions, fame, beauty and other mundane things.

Love is from the heart. Love sees the inner beauty whiles lust sees the outward beauty. Anytime you meet someone for the first time, and you develop sexual thoughts and become sleepless, it isn’t true love.

However, true love can make people sleepless. That should not deceive you into thinking that you are experiencing love. Analyze the motives of your heart. You might be thinking, how can I get this person into my room.

The moment your thoughts switches to sex and other erotic thoughts, think twice. Maybe your sexual hormones are so strong that anytime you meet an opposite gender, it rises. If you don’t learn how to control your sexual feelings, it can destroy you.

Although God created our estrogens, testosterones, and gonadotropins, we are responsible for putting them under subjection. Create a consistent relationship with the Holy Spirit because it takes the grace and workings of the Holy Spirit to walk in dominion.

You can read my series of books for more profound revelations. Build yourself with God’s Word because the Word has the power to transform our souls (Meditate on 1 Peter 2:2, Hebrews 4:12, Romans 12:1-2). You can read my series of articles for more profound revelations. The lesson continues.


But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.

And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.

And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.

And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.

And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.

2 Samuel 13:3-11 KJV

When you truly love someone, you will not use a false strategy to get the person. In the case of Amnon, he had a nephew called Jonadab who evilly advised him. Child of God, the friend you choose, impacts your life (Meditate on 1 Corinthians 15:33, 2 Corinthians 6:14 -18).

Amnon told his nephew that he loves Tamar, and because of his love for Tamar, he grew lean. Sometimes you hear some people say love is blind. If love (lust and infatuations) could make Amnon thin, then we should examine love.

Child of God, you may be growing lean because of the partner. May I present to you that it is a seed of lust lurking in your heart? If you truly love someone, you will not die in silence while the person is healthy.

If Amnon were truly in love with Tamar, Tamar would have shown some concern. Tamar would also have felt sick when Amnon grew lean and became sick. Tamar would have responded to Amnon’s love if it was true love.

There is no way you will love someone, and the person wouldn’t love in return. True love involves two or more people. If it is true love, the other partner will show some signs. Amnon thought he was in love with Tamar, not knowing the seed of lust was hiding in his heart.

Lust can make a man grow lean. You may think you are in love, but it is the seed of lust destroying you. You may be going through some pain because of the other partner. Child of God, if it is true love, the other person will also feel your pain.

Like king Darius and Prophet Daniel, Darius felt the pain of Daniel because Daniel was in pain. Genuine love creates one emotion. If you are in a relationship and your partner does not feel your pain, depression, and struggles, the person has little or no love for you.

It can be that the force of lust joined the two of you. Apply wisdom before it turns into a disaster. Amnon pretended to be sick because that was the only way to get Tamar. When Tamar prepared the food and brought it unto Amnon, Amnon told his men to excuse him.

Amnon wanted an opportunity to express his love (lust). Amnon held Tamar and told her to sleep with her. Anytime a man forces you to sleep with her, understand from that point that it is lust controlling the man.

If a woman forces you to sleep with her, the seed of lust is controlling her. People full of lust constantly search for opportunities to express their love (lust and infatuation). If you are in a relationship and the opposite gender continually pressures you to see him privately, lust dominates the relationship.

It doesn’t matter how innocent the person is; true love will not create an opportunity for sin. If it is true love, the partner will meet you in a safe or open arena where people can easily see both of you.

Let’s examine the response of Tamar and actions (lust and infatuations) of Amnon in the next verses after Amnon held Tamar and demanded sex.


And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.

And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

2 Samuel 13:12-14 KJV

Tamar told Amnon to stop applying force because she knew the disgrace and jealousy of his brother (Absalom). Tamar wanted the right thing done, but Amnon refused. One thing about lust is that it clears your conscience and makes you act like an insane person.

Tamar suggested Amnon make a marriage request to David, the king, but Amnon refused. Lust can make an individual ignore the dangers of his actions. The lust in Amnon blinded his heart.

Child of God, love is not blind; lust is blind. True love will never lead to disgrace. Love always takes time to develop. Lust says I want it now! I want her now! I want him now! Love reasons, whiles lust ignores reasoning.

Amnon was in haste to satisfy her lustful desires, not knowing he was opening the door for Absalom and Joab to slay him. We see and hear of marriage divorce, imprisonment, abortions, and fornication because of lust.

People think they are in love, not knowing they are in lust. How can couples marry and within one week or one month, it breaks? It takes the seed of love to maintain disagreements in marriages and relationships.

Many marriages and relationships are breaking because of faulty foundations (lust and infatuations). Love can conquer the storms in marriages, relationships and life. Lust can never stand the storms in marriage, relationship and life.

Amnon forced Tamar and slept with her because lust dominated him. Amnon did not see the disgrace and the hatred his lust will generate in his family because he was blind. If Amnon knew his lust would lead him to his premature death, he would have thought twice.

Many people are in prison because of lust (rape and defilement). They thought they were in love with the people they slept with, not knowing it was the seed of lust controlling them. Having a sexual feeling is not evil because God created that emotion.

Sexual emotions become evil when the Holy Spirit does not control them. Some people cannot control their sexual feelings because evil spirits are controlling them. Such people need deliverance. After Amnon satisfied his lustful desires, the Holy Scriptures declared that he hated Tamar with all his heart.


Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.

And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.

Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her

2 Samuel 13:15-17 KJV

The love Amnon had for Tamar turned into hatred because it was lust. Amnon did not want to see Tamar again after expressing the seed of “love” because he was operating in lust. Evil spirits were controlling the emotions of Amnon.

One reason people cannot stay with one partner is that they are full of lust. Child of God, love will not fade away after the act of love. Have you ever asked yourself why couples continue to live in peace after several sexual encounters?

It is because love binds people while lust breaks people. Marriage couples continue to live in peace and joy because love persists despite the condition. Examine yourself, are you living in love or lust?

To be continued…

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